I’m writing to let you know that I am finishing up as a volunteer for God’s Way Ltd and Divine Truth Pty Ltd.
The reason for this is that there are some emotions affecting my involvement as a volunteer, which I don’t wish to work through at this time.
These issues include:
- My predominant desire to be loved by others, rather than loving and giving to others
- My desire to be looked after by others, rather than becoming fully self-sufficient (physically, financially and emotionally)
- My preference for certain tasks and strong resistance to others. For example, I enjoy creating computer systems and assisting with sharing information via the God’s Way website, but I am don’t like outdoor work and physical labour
- I don’t really know what I want to do with my life and as a result, do not experience the happiness that comes from creation and acting on personal desires
Under my current arrangement as a full-time volunteer, the directors of God’s Way & Divine Truth (Jesus, Mary, Eloisa Lytton-Hitchins & Catherine Spence), acting as private individuals, have provided me with a place to live and funds towards my living costs. The projects and work schedule of the orgainsations give my life activity and structure. I have become dependent on this lifestyle, rather than working through the desire I have to be looked after by others. Due to the need to uphold love within the organisations, the directors are forced to make the choice to cease my participation as a volunteer, until these issues are resolved.
Prior to volunteering full-time and being financially assisted in this way, I used to take more actions driven by my personal desires. Of course these weren’t perfect or free from addiction, but only by acting can a passion be purified, and the motivations out of harmony with love identified and released. That is God’s Way: following your desires and removing emotionally all within oneself that is out of harmony with God’s Love & Truth.
Settling into my addiction of dependence on others, I have lost my confidence in creating for myself. So it’s to dust off the personal creativity and action taking once again 🙂
Though it is challenging for me to leave this comfort zone and I feel some sadness about no longer volunteering, I can also see the love and care that Jesus, Mary, Eloisa & Catherine feel in making this decision. I won’t ever become self-sufficient while remaining dependent on this environment and resisting challenging my addictions. I’ll also not experience the joy of personally creating things, and the positive compensation associated with self-sufficiency.
I also feel some excitement about the next stage of my life.
Jesus and the directors of God’s Way have offered me some regular paid work, developing computer applications and technical training that will benefit the organisations. I am very happy to receive the gift of this opportunity to continue to support the organisations in this way. I love creating computer systems that streamline and automate day-to-day processes, and I have also gained some new contracting work, creating programs (apps) for another company.
I’m also going to pursue some new gardening and food growing projects. I am a creative person and I love the design principles which can be seen in the natural environment God creates. (I just don’t like doing any outdoor work myself at this stage haha!). But I feel that designing and creating gardens and improving the condition of land could bring me a lot of happiness in future, and also be a path that will challenge my resistance to hard work and self-sufficiency.
I hope to share more on this blog about new projects I am undertaking, and experiments along the way.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me personally through your donations, helped make this experience possible for me, and in doing so supported the work of Divine Truth and God’s Way. It’s been a privilege to be involved.